Looking for that last minute gift for the woman who has it all? We can guarantee your favorite gal pal won’t have this — a Boob Scarf by Etsy member LourdesoftheFlies. For just $45, your bosom buddy can sport a handcrafted scarf featuring a pendulous pair of “breasts” that, according to the Etsy shop,

“almost look real!
almost feel real!
almost are real!

…this scarf will make you feel more like a lady.”

Riiiggghhhht. Because nothing says “femininity” better than displaying fleece stuffed massive mammaries around your neck.

The scarves with  come in several flesh tone colors, and $5 of every sale goes to benefit breast cancer research. But even if they say “the breast is best,” in this case, we simply say, “WTF.

Photos: Etsy seller Lourdesoftheflies